Monday, February 18, 2013

Challenging!

It has taken me until today to attempt Fireblossom's Saturday challenge of writing free verse, an aspect of poetry I have never studied.  I shall post it for IGWRT's Open Link Monday, instead, and pray for leniency from all who read. :-)

A Quiet War

Silence flails my ears,
beating my brain,
buffeting it with bullish bravado.

My senses need a shield
against his arrows of anger
as old wounds reopen
to bleed memories.

Love's life force ebbs
before a tide of antipathy
and swamps me with sadness
as history repeats
like a record stuck in a groove.

19 comments:

  1. Interesting to see your use of the 'tools', apart from rhyme and meter. I must say, i like a bit of rhyme here and there and find it hard to drop it completely. Well done you.

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    1. I too, find it hard to dispense with rhyme, so I'm sure it does me good to struggle to drop it occasionally! lol

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  2. Wow! What a good look inside the head of someone being tortured by words and deeds. They become stuck. I like the beginning, too, and how the silence becomes louder and more powerful than words sometimes.

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  3. "Buffeting it with bullish bravado" -- Enjoyed the 'b' sounds here! I understand how sometimes silence CAN assail one's ears. Sometimes silence by itself is disconcerting and way too LOUD for me as well.

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    1. Yep - even to the point of being deafening! lol

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  4. I too like the bullish bravado line ~ But the last stanza slams me with this ending: a record stuck in a groove ~

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  5. The last line sends chills up my spine - to be stuck in an endless, relentless loop of pain and sadness and indifference...

    Evocative!

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  6. History repeats but one is cleverer and more prepared for the second and subsequent ones! Your word craft is classic Jinsky! It creates the ideal poet's response in the veiled language! Nicely Ma'am!

    Hank

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  7. I loved the protrayal of anguish and pain.even without formal considerations.

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  8. "a record stuck in a groove" My I have heard grumbling replaying in my life. Great Write@

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  9. People can be such jerks....especially male people...lol. I like your attempt at free verse, it hard and fast and truth surfaces for all when a message like this is shared. Great job.

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  10. Hmmm... I used the word "groove" today, too! I write almost ALL free verse, and it can be fun to hop out of the paradigm of forms, no? Hope it was a fun write for you. I liked the alliteration and the tools, Jinksy. Been a long while since I've read you, and I can see I've been missing out... Peace, Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2013/02/18/599-wheres-my-pencil/

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    1. Thanks. Nice to see you come calling. :-)

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  11. The punishment of "silence" certainly can wound the heart... and the same line everyone likes "as history repeats
    like a record stuck in a groove" makes me want to shove the record's arm and tell her to not allow it to happen again.

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    1. Unfortunately, without replies, one is merely talking to oneself! A one sided silence is nevertheless silence, and is in the control of other than self, so difficult to alter...

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  12. ...that's were the impatient "take control" side of myself comes in... I want to give the ultimatum, I guess.

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    1. Maybe in a ideal world - but understanding the 'why' behind the silence strikes me as paramount...

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  13. Words written from the Heart, my friend.

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